Sunday, January 15, 2012

Red-Headed Stepchild

Jordan's first encounter with a red-headed kid didn't go so well.

Apparently for the first time in his life, at sixteen, Jordan finally met a kid with red hair.  Having no first-hand, face-to-face, experience with red-headed kids, Jordan drew upon the only information about red-heads filed in his brain.   Upon meeting "Red," Jordan blurted out, "I oughta beat you!"

Jordan seemed genuinely surprised when "Red" not only didn't laugh, but got a little upset.  After all, any time Jordan had heard the phrase "I oughta beat you like a red-headed stepchild!" while growing up, it was at least followed by a chuckle, if not a laugh.  And here was the perfect time to use the long-stored phrase--upon meeting an actual, honest-to-goodness redhead.

"Red" wasn't chuckling.

And he demanded to know why Jordan wanted to beat him up.  Rolling his eyes, Jordan asked if "Red" was a stepchild to which "Red" responded in the negative.  Understandably, both boys were confused and more than annoyed at this point.  After mulling the situation over, Jordan asked if "Red" was adopted.  Apparently, in Jordan's mind, adoption is the next best thing to having step-parents, at least as far as trying to resolve the issue at hand was concerned.  As luck would have it, poor "Red" was indeed adopted.

So, in answer to "Red's" question, "Why?" Jordan shrugged and said, "That's why, then, 'cuz you're adopted."